Up in the clouds

well , well..it finally happened! my band was in ze' paper man, how cool is that! a new awakening , or should i say..RuUd awekening!

Semboyan telah berbunyi (Part 1)

hey..

its me again..

heard bout this new reality tv show called MyTeam.. well, basically its a show whereby local professional scouts for unknown local soccer talent to match against our national soccer team. pretty darn good i should say. ITS ABOUT TIME! we have been in a rut! soccerwise..

SAMPAI BILA AKU NAK SOKONG ENGLAND JER? SAMPAI BILA AKU NAK MIMPI MALAYSIA MASUK WORLD CUP?

Harimau Malaya, we were referred to back in th 70's and 80's. We did qualified for the Moscow Olympics, if im not mistaken it was in 1978. We beat the Koreans , Japs , Saudis and surely our neighbours scared the shit if they were up against Malaysia. But now, its just another sad case of Malay'WHO"? even the Thais qualified for the final world cup qualifier held in the arabs , during the round up for 2002 World Cup. what happened? what went wrong? we have all the facilities and support..just looked at Senegal, a country so poor they even have to eat rats..but yet they did it. Is it because of our players? Or our managent? both..i think.

hey , who am i to blabber bout this kind of thing huh? i have no credibility whatsoever , and kaki bangku plak tu. every malaysian frustrated bout this. and its a national dream to watch our players perform well internationally. at least we have an ambasaddor dkt Fulham..AZWAN. Yep, that dude is the winner of Soccerstar and currently training with Fulham's youth. Congrats and luck dude!

You can't expect our football scene to go far with a bunch of silly wankers with no hardcore principals of football to managed it. Back to basics u guys , think! What Shebby Singh is doing right now is an eye opener. What if our national teams gunned down my Shebby's MyTeam? that would be cool. Please , leave out politics in our soccer industry and bring in some people with hardcore basics about football to managed it. get rid of those ol' dinasours and bring in new management with a proper mindset. you think i'm kidding? look at J-League for example. they started the league just recently and now the Japs kicked ass like never before man..and the person responsible for building up the league is just a normal lay-man with a proper and focus mindset ( i cant remember his name but i watched football asia and he's just a normal guy with a vision---> coach bola biasa jeer beb!). Proper mindset ? well , basically :-

Vision,vision, vision, vision, vision and actions!

Find out the flaws , analyze the wrongdoings and start doing the rite thing. leave out the "RED-TAPE" propaganda. they 're a lot of hidden talents here in Malaysia and i do believe we have our own Eric Cantona or Diego Maradona or Ronaldinho right here in our own backyard.

Revamp our league system, its confusing! Just stick to Division 1 and 2, mcm semi-pro dulu. get corporate sponsors and manage well, so that our players are confident with regard to their salary. Ni tak, asyik2 gaji tertunggak. mcm manalah player kat Malaysia nak semangat.

Dicipline is very2 important. Top management must show a good example and be stern on dicipline, so that players boleh jadi professional ckit. Ni tak, sikit2 nak gaduh kat pdg lah, aperlah! Lepas tu player pun terikut2 emo. Ni la masalah org kita kadang, emo. tgk mat saleh main bola..kena hardtackle tapi takde la sampai nak terajang player balik , habis2 pun minta belas kasihan refree..main2 drama sikit. kalau kat cni, geesh! if tackled, then tak puas hati gaduh2 kat tgh padang sampai main nama mak bapak. My God! Masa David Beckham kena tackle dgn Aldo Dusher dulu ( Champs League 20002 Q- Final Man Utd Vs Deportivo), ada Sir Alex gi tgh2 pdg jd org gila?. habis2 pun dia drama2 sikit dpn ref. But what im trying to point out is that how dicipline at the upper level reflect our players dicipline. Be affirmative and no nonsense.

Learn from the Japs. Jgn jadi bodoh sombong. Ceduk sikit ilmu diorang interms of management. how they had superseed us is sumthin that we should be ashamed of. Kita yg sapu kaki diorang dulu , skang ni diorang bukan setakat sapu, dah bleh vakum kaki kita dah!

Set a goal , TO QUALIFY FOR 2010 WORLD CUP. 2006 dah terlambat yuk yuk yuk! Along the line , crack your heads, do whatever it takes to make sure we qualify. govt ada bg resources , use it wisely. amanah rakyat tu..jgn masuk sana masuk sini. tuhan nampak laa.

Back in the 70's we were great. why aren't we now?

with the lights out..

P/S : Shebby , good luck!

baladewa

hey..

so much has been said about managing your work and stuffs related to it. i'm wondering how these so called
"narcissts" think when they came up with their theories. kudos to those who knows and wrote bout it. i'm not lame , its just that sumtimes when it comes to us (the uncanny individual who burdened it), things might go out of hands i should say.

i'm the sort of individuals who likes to be challenged and hates when being questioned bout my judgement. As a professional, i'm closely in touch with my surroundings, esp at my workplace.It allows me to keep my sense on the warning signals that you know...sumtimes.. all is not well. I received complaints, and trust me...it never ends, and knowing my reputation in the organization is on the line 24-7.Lepas satu habis..3 datang. Yg lama2 punya pun ada yg tak selesai lagi.

Sumtimes , i feel insecure because concern exists over losing my values and focus in dealing with shithole..but i'm glad that im not like before..keeping mum. certain things..yes i do mummed bout it coz simple matter with minimal expectations , just deal with it.

I can rectify it , but pleease , dun push me. i hate it.

with the lights out..

p/s: feel like listening to Cohead and Cambria..

LoNeLiNeSs (part2)

hey..

2nd day..yeup!

woke up ..tak ingat pukul berapa, but as usual mesti tgk gambar cinta dulu..got sms from her early in the morning..bestnya! bit tired coz layan game dgn bob last nite, pure gore , blood and death! LONG LIVE RESIDENT EVIL !
turned on the tele but nothing's on at the moment..so went back to sleep..ZzzZzz. she called me asking what is my mum's fav colour? must be sumthin la tu..
then layan game again wif bob , sOoOo addicted to it at the moment. bila la nak habis, nasib baik bob yg main , i'm only the StrikeR , nothing much just sit there and bg advice.

around 1 sumthin had my lunch , tapau kat rumah. thanks bob for everything. he bought for me actually. ptg tu hantar boy balik gi Pulapol kat semarak wif bob and naza ada sekali. dah lama tak jumpa boy and whahaha! he's changed man! kulit lg gelap and rambut botak, gempak siut! everyweek mesti kena potong rambut , tak kira apa pun. he's enjoying it , being a policeman. it's in his nature perhaps. since sekolah dulu pun dia ni jenis lasak sikit, and his father also is like that. manage to talk to him masa kat rumah dia bout my life and stuffs..he said sorry for everything and wish me all the best for my future undertakings. now he understands..

then lepak at pelita nasi kandar with bob and naza and we discuss few things bout our life and most of it was about the dilemma of malaysian educations..kinda sad to know the fact that our edu system is deteriorating. (im gonna hv to make another blog bout this so that i can share my views).

balik umah layan lagi game..then cinta called. she said that she's gonna go out wif bunch of her tganu frens..hmmm no problem on that. she should coz bukan selalu gi tganu dpt jumpa balik kwn2 lama.

baby, i miss u...i really2 do. can't wait for u to come back home..

well, that's bout it then. nothing much happened for today. tomorrow dah start kerja , tak sabar rasanya nak start kerja balik..HUH?! CRAZY AHH?! gehehehe..

With The Lights Out..

P/S : al-fatihah to awien , my cousin who passed away..

FiRsT DaY oF LoNeLiNeEs

hey..

Cinta went to t'gnu for 3 days..and i missed her like hell!

Yesterday was the first day , and i feel soOo lonely. although i hanged out wif bob , but still i miss my girl. can't stop thingking bout her.

i woke up around 7 plus , and as usual i will look at her pic first. then checked on my phone , see if there's any missed calls or sms. hmm..3 missed calls and 2 sms, all of em' from cinta. feel bad coz i didn't answered her calls , coz i wuz sleeping and didn't hear anythin! geesh! apa la aku ni? anyway , bgn pagi jer dah rasa lousy , why? well..CINTA TAKDE KAT KL!! DURGHH! called her to check on her, dia dlm ketaa laaa..hehehe. dia mimpi dia jadi Dana Scully X-Files..wow! that's hot! err..i mean my baby is hot , not dana scully k? mmmhmmhmmmhmm..k lah , dua2 hot! but i dun love dana scully. i love syasya..then me slept again..

bgn2 je lepak dgn bob kat dpn TV..layan game resident evil 4. scary and suspen! dah la si bob tu cepat terkejut , then main game2 yg mcm tu lagilaaa layan haha! i used to play that game , resident evil 1 & 2 and seriusly addicted to it. masa tu PS1 jer, but im sooo addicted to game that time , time2 aku belajar kat matrix. (masa tu budak2 lagi laaa). i remember masa cuti sem dulu, lepak kat umah boy then we played the game whole night just nak kan mood takut and we were intrigued to know whats gonna happened next. aahh miss the ol times but hey , people changed. dun know what and when..but me not intrested in playing video games anymore. guess im over it skang nihs. currently looking for a new hobby , and rasa intrested in photography. my ofcmate ada ajak join belajar dgn dia doin rigging and stuffs , i'll think bout it. sounds intresting i should say , bleh buat duit , bleh kahwin *wink wink*. CINTAAAA.... i miss yoOoOu..

sms cinta to check out on her , dia still on the way. i told her bout me and my dad's joke bout bandar chukai , tganu. do u know that Chukai is malaysia's Texas? CHUKAI = TEXAS ? get it? hahahha kelakar kan? kan?KAN? gelak! gelak! kalo tak aku cekik kang ! hahahaha..errkh..---> im sooo lame at making jokes.

planned to watch Bulik Balik kat Sunway wif bob. but shit man! sunway jam giler! then we're off to OU..parking ok, semua ok. but shit again dudes! both TGV and GSC packed! so nak taknak terpaksa cancel the plan..then we had lunch at A&W wif our free discount coupons ( bunch of cheapskates). while lepak2 kat ctu , my mind still pikir pasal cinta. come to think of it , rite now apa2 yg i buat mesti ada kaitan dgn cinta secara langsung ataupun tidak. my life is her literally, and i like it. pergi plak OU , lagilaaaa hehehe..

it was 22.5.04 (saturday) , the day i met cinta for the first time. didn't plan to go to OU at that time. after work , me and my ofc mate planned to go to Mutiara D'sara to check out this new housing project. I was intrested and damn excited bout it coz dpt belajar cara2 nak usha rumah2 kat KL coz planning nak settledown kat sini. but then cancel , coz he had sum errands to do at home wif his wife. bit upset actually but not for long coz as i was driving kat federal highway , ternampak JayaJusco ounya sign and decided nak ke OU coz situ ada jusco. And then it happened..as i walked down the men's dept alley , i terserempak my good fren from Jb , Hairie. He's wif his fellow Maybankers yg br je habis training. and one of them is Cinta. i was dumbstruck and numb bila terlihat dia. my god..apa yg aku rasa ni? is this love at first sight? well..the rest is history ladies and gents.

erkh? mengelamun jap kat A&W. then me and bob pusing2 satu OU , lepak Baskin Robin nak jumpa my Uni fren Safwan yg merangkap Store Manager Baskin Robin OU. ramai gila org sampai dia pun tak terlayan. Bob nak beli banana split but harga dia RM19 man! geesh! takyaaaaaah leeer. as we were on the way to RHB ATM machine (kat ctu bleh kelaur Rm10), tetiba plaaaak ada sorang minah ni panggil2, rupanya fazuin! terkejut gue , dia kerja part time kat kedai mainan cho cho train. lepak jap dgn dia borak2 and she saw sumthin different wif me..hahahahaha dia punya gelak tak ingat! tak reti nak cover langsung..hehe! well, me and bob decided to gerak balik from OU but b4 that , dia nak beli spek hitam plaakk. ngada2 betul! takdak hal..then chow!

i started feeling lousy..sooooooo lousy being apart from cinta..

she called me ms aku br betul nak start rs lousy. miracle! the got dc i called her back. dia pun rasa lousy gak..hmmmmmm.. kalau ikutkan nak ajer aku gi tganu!

sampai umah around 7 plus, straight away i called cinta to hear her angelic voice and wanted to know apa dia tgh buat. lousy lousy lousy lousy...

layan DVD pun citer lousy..layan game dgn bob pun rs lousy gak..

the i sms cinta..unofficially i purposed to her for being my wife via cellphone, and she said yes.. dia agree (11.33pm 31st Jan 06).

With The Lights Out..

2005

hey..

its been a while since my last blogging. forgot my password..soo true..sigh!

2005, so many things happened, esp during the last bit chunk of the year. it has been a roller-coster year i should say.

my beloved grandma passed away 5.12.05. such a sad day it was..my sis called me while i was getting ready 4 work. i couldnt believe it at first..i really can't. i still missed her , i really2 do..nenek bedridden for the past 3 years, and i couldnt bear watching her like that. ada hikmah dia pergi , and i think i know what it is. a blessing in disguise i should say. at least dia tak sengsara kat dunia lagi..and what she has done(sumbangan) towards me , my dad , my aunts , my uncles , my cousins , my fams is sumthing yg boleh dikatakan besar dan berpengaruh. dia seorang yg mangambil berat gila tentang anak2nya , anak2 mertuanya esp my mum dan juga cucu2nya. terlalu bnyak sgt pengorbanan beliau and its gonna take like FOREVER kalau nak dicoretkan didalam blog yg tak seberapa ni. enuff by saying she's one terriffic nenek and her lost was deeply felt by everyone in the family. semoga beliau mendapat keberkatan dariNYA..amin.

last year, 15.4.05 to be exact, i finally proposed to cinta..in becoming my girlfriend. we're still in love with each other and we definately can't be apart! our relationship works in a very mysterious way , not like the typical fairytale lovestory. so many bumpy things berlaku , but we're still intact towards each other. mcm kena gam! hehe. but what can i say huh? our love and affections keep getting stronger and stronger evryday man..no matter what. its true , so very2 true. everytime keluar dating dgn cinta mcm first time keluar dating. not the akwardness , but the anticipation of meeting sum1 that u truly love and adored so very2 much.

The greatest thing you'll ever learn Is to love and be loved in return.

cinta mmg seorang manusia yg kompleks dan unik. mencabar gue dari segenap aspek yg boleh. but i like that. that's what keep our bond and affection stronger and stronger and stronger and stronger. she awakens me to a new understanding with her complexity, her thoughts , her ideas , her personality , her sarcasticness , her suave and of course her love and affections towards me. itu yg menyebabkan aku syg sgt kat cinta.

we have problems , yes i admit. 50% of the problems comes from me. but im so disturbed and sad to know that our surroundings menyalahkan cinta diatas segala2nya..throwing unnecessary judgements towards her. she is complicated and complex , but there are things yg triggered her emotions to become like that, bknnya dia sengaja buat mcm tu. when we talked our problems kat org lain , bukannya nak suruh FIX / JUDGE , but we want them to listen and encourage us, not throwing judgements. if they want to judge who is rite or wrong , then they should listen to both parties. im DISTURBED and i dont want to talk bout my problems wif anyone in my circle anymore. kalau ada relatioship prob, better cite dgn org yg takda kena mengena dgn aku dan cinta..so that i get honest and not biased punya opinion. ada gak my frens yg not biased , and i thank them for that. but cukuplah , situation sekarang ni pun dah serabut dan kompleks. its hard to make people understand. i dun want people to think that cinta is the evil one. i'm also at fault okey?! cinta is soo caring and she always encourage me whenever i feel down .always there for me. bare in mind that when problems occured, its not her fault entirely. i dun want people to throw judgement at her , the consequences are very much sucky. its hard to gain other people's trust u know , esp women. rite now , i dun want to mix cinta wif my frens at the moment. later on perhaps. its messy and i dun like people to push it. " bila nak keluar sekali? or jomla ajak cinta sekali " --> at the moment..no way man. I WANT TO KEEP CINTA AWAY FROM MY SURROUNDINGS FOR AWHILE. I DECIDED ON THAT , NOT HER. DUN EVER2 BLAME HER ON THAT. CALL ME WHATEVER U WANT , I DUN CARE.

cloudburst? well, things r doin fine btw. got a gigg last 24th dec and it was a blast man! we played 3 original songs and 2 covers. Radiohead's fake plastic trees and also The Killer's all these things. cool gile beb! people applauded us gila2! cinta was there , and i seriously thank her for that. love yoouuu and she was there witnessing, lagi best. we're goin to the studio to cut another demo in febuary 06, insyallah. ROCK ON YEAH YEAH!!

hmm..work? got promoted to the next upper level. rite now, im the head of fire ins dep of CAC Maybank S'gor. big responsibilities dude..mcm figure kena submit to manager interms of key performance. doa bnyk2 supaya kuatkan semangat and tabah diatas segala2nya. i know i can do it , i know i can.

all in all i have to say 2005 was special in a certain way.

With The Lights Out..

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irama kromosom ku..

hey..

hmm..i'm back again. so much to say , so many thoughts , so true.

i'm full of : hope and fears- happy and tears-good and bad.

lately, so many things happened and i find it very intresting , amusing and at the same time sad.

- went back to JB last few weeks and jumpa my nenek. she's very2 sick and the saddest part was this : i can't really understand what she's saying and at one point she said sumthin to me for which i can't really understand and she asked me to leave her alone , nak tidur katanya sambil menangis. im close with my nenek , very2 close and it's bugging me inside , until now. apa dia kata? was it good? bad? apa? apa?apa? apa?!!

- membersihkan najis merupakan satu perkara yg agak jijik jika kita ertikannya secara literal. tetapi , adalah lagi jijik sekiranya kita membersihkan najis org lain. itulah kerja aku. kesalahan pihak lain menjadikan diriku ini terlalu geram dan ia membuatkan pihak2 lain memandang rendah terhadap kebolehanku. aku bukannya seorang manusia yg mudah berputus asa, cuma kurang sokongan moral. terus terang aku mengatakan bahawa kebencian aku terhadap cha ya nun alif membuak2! mereka tidak akan memberi sokongan terhadap org2 seperti kita. kita lemah. kita bodoh. kita tidak berpengalaman. aku perlukan sokongan , i really do. but right now, org2 yg aku martabatkan sebagai sifu telah pun berpindah ke tpt lain. alasan? cha ya nu alif mmg gampang. org2 yg ada sekarang hanyalah sekadar melepaskan batuk ditangga. mementingkan diri sendiri.

- well , at least my fam's r doing ok. both of them r lonely coz my sis dah takde kat rumah. hmmm..incoming 4th child? ahhaha..rilek aah mama, abah. jgn marah ye. gurau je. tp kalau mampu , apa salahnya? manalah tau , dpt adik lelaki..hehehe. hmm..i wonder what would my life be like if i have a brother? not that i dun like my sisters ke ape ke..i love them so much. but jz a thought. syed khalid kut nama dia?

- lately, i noticed that i've changed..in terms of my values.. i used to have this laid back attitude..bla bla so on and so forth. but now, i'm not so laid-back sgt. procastination and complecent was there..inside of me back then. but not now. it's a good thing actually , for me. due to few incidents that has happened , i view certain things differently now. it thought me well, matured. i'm sorry to all of my friends if i'm being cold whatsoever. its just that i need to recharge myself coz i'm not syed/botak/ed/khaliz/arab yg dulu. hope people around me understands and kalau ada sesiapa yg kecik hati, maaflah. sooner or later its gonna happen. i'm gonna changed, no matter what. im not getting any younger.

- things are goin fine between me and her. no doubt it's bumpy ( mcm2 berlaku!), but i'm glad we're still together. i noticed that our feelings towards each other is getting stronger and stronger. she's the " push that makes me move". we learned a lot about each other. despite all the complicated "ness" , we're still standing and hugging. when i look at the stars, i imagine how difficult it is to reach it , how bright it is . who am i to blabber about stars anyway? im no astrologist.. just an arjuna yg telah pun berjumpa dgn cintanya. pretty ol' skool huh? well, that's me.

- a bit dissapointed with my company. applied for vacancy at other dept, but i was shocked, sad , dissapointed and mad coz my applications tak dihantar langsung to the dept yg aku nak tuh! i was told by my boss that he will recommend my transfer and he will send it. but nooo..i dun mind bout my slim chances goin there. but to know the fact that it wasn't submitted , pretty much de'motivated to work. i'm not blaming my boss. maybe my letter was misplaced by sum1 at HR, dun know..anything can happened. dah bukan rezeki..

with the lights out , ciao!